Who goes inside whom is only the start of it. Here’s how the roles work on the page.

In gay erotica, a top is the man who penetrates during sex and a bottom is the man who is penetrated. A man who enjoys both is vers, short for versatile. The words describe what happens in bed, but in a story they also shape how readers see a character, so they’re worth using with care.

What is a top in gay erotica?

A top is the partner who penetrates his partner during sex, usually anal sex. In gay erotica the word often comes with assumptions attached, mostly that the top is the bigger man who’s in control. Those assumptions can be fun to play with. They’re also a cliché if every top you write is a silent brute.

A total top only ever tops, while a vers top prefers to top but will sometimes bottom. Then there’s the service top, who tops under the direction of an eager bottom. That one flips the usual power around. The man doing the fucking is the one taking orders, which gives you a lot to work with in a scene.

What is a bottom in gay erotica?

A bottom is the partner who is penetrated during sex. Being a bottom says nothing about being weak or passive, even though lazy erotica often writes him that way. A bottom can want it more than the top does. He can set the pace. A power bottom is the name for a bottom who takes charge.

A bottom who knows exactly what he wants makes for a better scene. In The sea in front of him and a cock in his hole, Rafael turns up at the narrator’s holiday room with the look of a man who has already decided what the day is going to be. The narrator does the fucking, but it’s Rafael’s look that sets the tone.

What does vers mean?

Vers, short for versatile, means a man who enjoys topping and bottoming. Some vers men switch within the same encounter, which is often called a flip-flop or flip-fucking. Others lean one way, so you’ll see vers top or vers bottom. In a story, two vers men give you a choice about who goes first, and that choice can carry a lot of tension.

Vers characters are useful when you’re writing an ongoing couple. Swapping roles across chapters lets you show how the relationship has changed, without anyone having to explain it.

What is a side?

A side is a gay man who enjoys sex but isn’t interested in anal penetration. The term was coined in 2013 by the psychotherapist Joe Kort, and Grindr added Side as a position option in 2022. A side character can be a fresh choice for a writer who wants to step away from the usual script.

A story doesn’t need anal sex to be filthy. Mutual masturbation can carry a scene on its own, and so can oral sex. Several of my stories end without anyone going inside anyone, such as Do Straight Guys Really Stroke Each Other’s Cocks?, where two old friends on a sofa never get past their hands.

How do characters decide who tops in a story?

Characters decide who tops however real men do. Sometimes one asks. Sometimes one of them simply takes the lead. For a writer, that moment is gold. It can be a joke or a single look. Handled well, it builds as much tension as the sex that follows, and it tells readers who these men are.

Do gay men decide who’s the top and who’s the bottom? is built around that question. Two strangers in a steam room circle it for most of the story. In the end Ben answers it by sliding off the bench onto his knees, then spends the rest of the scene telling Tom how he wants it. He bottoms, but he’s hardly passive. If you want your men talking like Ben, my guide to writing dirty talk in gay erotica has examples.

How do you write a first time bottoming without making it a medical leaflet?

Write a first time bottoming through what the character feels and how his partner responds, rather than as a set of instructions. Show any preparation through action, in a sentence or two. Let the nerves come through in his body and his thoughts. Leave health advice out of the story; readers came for the scene, and your job is the scene.

The strongest first-time scenes have a partner who pays attention. In Does bottoming really hurt for gay men?, Alex is the experienced one guiding Jamie. The story lives in the gap between what Jamie expected and what he gets. My step-by-step guide to writing a gay sex scene covers pacing in more depth. For a whole scene built around his first time, see my guide to writing a first-time anal scene.

FAQ

Are top and bottom only about anal sex?

They usually describe anal sex. Some people use them for oral sex, or more loosely for who leads in bed.

Is the top always the dominant one?

Dominance and position are separate things. A power bottom can run the whole scene, and a service top can spend it taking instructions.

Should I state my characters’ roles up front?

You don’t have to. Letting readers work it out from the men’s behaviour can be more satisfying, especially if the answer surprises them.

Where can I find more gay erotica terms?

My gay erotica glossary gives short definitions of terms from PWP to dub-con.