One man’s head or a view of the whole room. Here’s how to pick the point of view your story needs.

Neither point of view is better for erotica. Each one suits a different kind of story. First person is the closest view, as the reader lives inside one man’s head and feels what he feels. Third person is the wider view, so the reader can watch more than one man react. Choose by asking whose experience the story is really about.

What’s the difference between first and third person?

First person tells the story through “I”. The narrator is a character, so everything the reader learns comes through his senses. Third person tells it through “he”, from a narrator outside the action. Close third stays near one man’s thoughts. A wider third can move between several men.

The opening of my new roommate’s naked habit shows first person at work. “The moment Alex dropped his bag in the hallway and peeled off his T-shirt without closing the door, I knew sharing the flat was going to test me.” Within one sentence you’re inside the narrator’s head, already wanting.

When does first person work best?

First person works best when the story hangs on one man’s desire. Hidden crushes suit it, as do secret fantasies. The reader feels each touch as if it’s happening to them. It’s also the easiest way to give your narrator a distinct voice.

Streetlight Stranger goes further, using first person in the present tense. “I do not hurry. The risk is the point.” Short sentences in the present make the reader feel they’re on that pavement with him. The jogger who approaches stays a mystery, since we only see him through the narrator’s eyes.

When does third person work best?

Third person works best when more than one man matters equally. It suits group scenes or stories where the reader needs to see something the main character can’t. It also gives you a little distance. That can help when a character’s thoughts would be too much to sit inside for a whole story.

The private room has three men on a webcam show. Third person lets the story watch all of them at once. It opens on one: “Kai sat closest to the lens with his legs folded under him, grinning in disbelief at the tip menu down the side of the screen.” From there, the narration can cut to Ollie or Marco whenever it needs to.

Which point of view is hotter?

Neither is hotter by default. First person feels more personal, since the reader is the one being touched. Third person can feel more voyeuristic, which is its own kind of turn-on. The hotter choice is the one that puts the reader closest to whatever your story’s fantasy is.

Does bottoming really hurt for gay men? is in third person, yet it stays close to Jamie throughout. The reader still feels every step of his first time. My guide to writing a first-time anal scene looks at that story in detail.

How do you choose for your own story?

Write the first paragraph both ways, then read them out loud. One version will feel closer to the fantasy you’re chasing. Ask yourself whose secret drives the plot. If one man is hiding something, first person lets the reader share the secret with him. If both men matter equally, third person gives them equal room.

Into the canyon is in third person. Alex is thirty-six, while Tyler is in his mid-twenties. The narration stays near Alex, yet third person still lets it describe him from the outside as clearly as it describes Tyler. In first person, Alex could only describe himself in passing.

Can you switch point of view in a story?

You can switch between scenes, but avoid switching mid-scene. A jump from one man’s head to another’s in the same paragraph confuses readers. If you need both men’s thoughts, give each his own section with a clear break between them. Third person also lets you stay outside both heads.

Common mistakes

The most common is drifting. A first-person narrator suddenly knows what the other man is thinking. Another is a third-person story that never gets close to anyone, so the sex reads like a report. Watch your tense as well. Pick past or present, then keep to it. My guide to writing a gay sex scene covers other slips.

Read it in a story

Streetlight Stranger shows first person in the present tense. The private room shows third person handling three men at once.

FAQ

Is first person more popular in erotica?

Both are common. Pick what suits your story.

Can I use second person?

You can. “You” stories put the reader right in the scene, though they’re harder to sustain over a long piece.

Should my narrator be the top or the bottom?

Whichever man has more at stake. My guide to top and bottom in gay erotica can help you decide.

Does point of view affect dirty talk?

Yes. In first person you can share thoughts he’d never say aloud. See my guide to writing dirty talk.